February 01, 2023: Goodbye

Photo by Chedi Tanabene on Pexels.com

I wasn’t a dog person. I liked dogs alright, but loving them, cuddling them, kissing them, etc? Nope, not me.

I wasn’t a dog person, but you won me over, even though I tried to fight it. You won me over because of how good you were to our girls, how much you loved my wife, and how much she loved you. I could’ve done without the peeing inside the house, but it was a small annoyance for the happiness you brought to this house.

I know your mean streak was, in your doggie eyes, you protecting us. I know it and understand it. I wish it had been different, buddy. Others saw you as a dangerous dog, but to us, you were always a lovable doofus.

Goodbye, buddy. You were a good boi, despite the mistakes and strikes that got us here, you were absolutely a good boi, and we all will miss you.


January 29, 2023: Stressed

I’m writing this at 1:22 in the morning because even though I’m incredibly tired, I can’t fall asleep. I’ve been trying for the last hour and change, tried reading, eating a small snack, and though I’m yawning every other minute, I’m still tossing in bed.

I know it’s stress; I get insomnia when my stress levels are high, and January has been nothing but a parade of stress-inducing crap. I’m pushing my coping mechanisms to the limit, but I’m starting to see cracks. We all are.

Let’s give this sleep thing another try now. Maybe third time’s the charm.

January 28, 2023: Armor

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No, I’m not talking about armor in games today (some other day maybe).

Since the start of the year, we have been facing some situations, each coming right on the heels of the other, without a chance to fix them or rest in between. When we seem to have something under control, surprise, something else breaks down, adding to the list. It’s been relentless, to be honest, and we’re feeling the effects. The month isn’t over yet, and we feel it’s already been the longest year.

The more I thought about it, the more it’s evident to me that we’re under some sort of concerted attack. I see it as a spiritual assault, but you can call it bad vibes, evil eye, juju, etc. Something is trying to bring us down.

I refuse to let that happen.

That means it’s time to fight back, and the first thing I need to do is put on my armor. You can think of it as the Armor of God that Paul describes in Ephesians, as a metaphorical armor to protect my boundaries and emotional health, or as a figure of speech in terms of setting my defenses against all that’s been going wrong. As I see this as a spiritual battle, I certainly see my defense as the Armor of God, but the point is that knowing that things don’t just happen, especially so many back-to-back, without there being a reason behind them is the first step in going from reactive to proactive, from being a victim to taking control of the situation.

As the saying goes, not today, Satan. Not today.

January 27, 2023: Newsletter

The January issue of my newsletter is out now. This month I talk about getting back on the creative work grind, limited print copies available for sale of my new zine, and more info on my game, PROJECT LEGACY.

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January 26, 2022: Bleh

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I’m feeling bleh today. I know it’s a combination of tiredness, hurriedness, stress, and lack of creative time, and I’m hoping that having tomorrow off will help me recover. Today is one of my recurrent long days at work, teaching all day, then staying to complete some tasks that need to be done before I can be off, and I just gotta get through it. I’ll bleh on.

January 25, 2023: Not

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I don’t talk much about my job because working in healthcare and having an online presence can be a bad combination if you are not careful.

This is why I am definitely not talking today about the regulatory visit going on this week at work.

I am most assuredly not saying anything about the chaos this regulatory body creates whenever they visit a hospital, and how the stress becomes palpable in the air.

I am absolutely not talking about how we haven’t found a way to forgive this regulatory body’s deafening silence during the height of the Covid crisis, when paper bags magically became antimicrobial, and nurses wore plastic trash bags as isolation gowns.

Nope, I am not talking about any of this at all.

January 24, 2023: Snowball

Perduejn, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

I unearthed a blog post I made back on this date five years ago where I talk about my goals for the year, especially wanting to go back to writing fiction. I had a moment of shock thinking about my plans for that year, how they match the ones I made for this year, and wondering how did it all happen (or not happen)?

When I wrote that blog post five years ago, I didn’t know we’d welcome a new daughter to our house in the fall, the ensuing issues that came along with that event, or that a month into the next year I’d be moving up north, starting a new job, buying a house, learning to live in a new state, and then of course 2020 came along and then blink, and it’s now 2023. Life snowballed me downhill, plain and simple. I had to learn to not be hard on myself, to give myself some kindness and understanding, instead of putting myself down and seeing it all as a failure on my part.

So here I am, five years later, setting out to complete the goals I set in 2018, and hopefully, there won’t be any more snowballs dragging me along.

January 23, 2023: Library

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I love my library; I love libraries in general, but I have a special love for my local library. Servicing the whole county, it has branches all over the various towns and neighborhoods in my area, meaning I have a branch a few minutes away anywhere I am. The book selection is great, and they’re able to move materials around the branches quite quickly if needed. Although I like to buy books from time to time, I also make liberal use of the library to keep my reading lists going.

I particularly love using my library to get ebooks for my Kindle, this being the fastest way I can get new books to read, as well as audiobooks for my commute. This weekend I also found that one of the branches near my house has a section called Library of Things where you can check out items other than books such as video games, board games, use of a 3-D printer, and to my great surprise, role-playing games! I checked out the Numenera Starter Set by Monte Cook Games, a game I’ve known about for a while but have never read. I’ll have to check if they have other role-playing games to borrow at a later time.

Libraries rock.